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Saturday, September 22, 2012

Love and the College Girl

   A little while back, news of a relationship between a man and young college student hit the news and took off like wildfire.  The man had left his wife to chase after his daughter's friend, and felt so justified that he publicized the relationship across the country.  In observing her countenance during the video clips, I personally don't think she was very happy with that decision.  Suffice to say, I tried to put down my thoughts in a more compassionate post called The Idiot in spite of wanting to rail on the man like I wanted to.

   However, I think there were some important values and concepts that needed expanding.  I actually had to go back to my original post, titled "A Letter to the Professor" and do some tweaking, and deleting, and grammatical dissection and offensive bombing and reorder my thoughts.

   I think one of the biggest mistakes the young woman made was not listening to her friends and family.  That's one of the purposes of friends.  To say, "Hey, your thinking's off here," or "You gotta use your head to guard your heart." (Thank you, Amy Grant).  Now that the man screwed with her heart, it's probably going to take a number of years for her to learn to trust another man, and especially to define how and who to give her body to, and how to protect her heart.  Obviously, I didn't spend too much time on the "grammatical dissection" of my post.  Oh well!

   Just because one has a right given by law doesn't mean that a person had made a "right" decision based on that right, or even made a good decision.  Let's go back to the Declaration of Independence.  Whenever we feel that the law has to be changed based on how a person feels, or what's been done to that person by a company, or when a small minority finally convinces a large majority that someone's rights are being neglected...God is oftentimes brought into the picture.  "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all people are created equal.  That they are endowed with certain rights by their Creator, such as life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness."  "The pursuit of happiness" is most times referred to when one's rights are brought up.  "I have the right to do whatever I want with my body" or "My civil rights have been violated".

   In the arena of relationships, much of the time one's happiness is at stake.  Imagine this: The majority of men in America coming together and creating a law on their peckers.  "Love is not determined at a designated age; women over the age of 14 should be able to grow in a loving relationship with an older men, regardless of his age."  The age defining statutory rape would be amended from 17 and under to 13 and under (somehow, miraculously, gaining the support of women).  But though the law has been changed and a right has been given to the public governing relationships, that doesn't mean that the exercising of that right is "right" or even good.  Something's been left out: the emotional and sexual development of women.  Egads!  When one considers how many decisions in life still remain ("Do I go to college or work?", "Do I want to break away from my parents or live with them for a while?", "Where do relationships with my friends fall after high school?", "What do I want to do with my life?"), an older man interrupting a young woman's emotional and intellectual growth should be unheard of.  How about another example?   President Harry Truman did have the right, according to law, to have the atomic bomb dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki.  But I'm sorry, that was not right or good.

   But I digress.  When God is brought into the picture, many times it's to promote and enforce our "inalienable rights".  That's usually as far as it goes.  God is defined by the limits of the law, but not by who He is.  He becomes a judge, but only insofar as obedience to human law extends.  If "God is love" is brought into the argument, it's in an appeal to how a person feels without any boundaries being drawn.  Yes...yes...God is love.  But most people see God as a big fluff-ball of love, without any of that nasty "truth" involved.
As 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 states:


Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy
Love does not parade itself, it is not puffed up
Does not behave rudely, does not seek it's own, is not provoked, thinks no evil
Does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth
Bears all things, believes all things,hopes all things, endures all things.


Most people leave the "truth" part out, because if we talk about truth, then we're delving more into God and His nature than most people want to.  Plus, were we to bring in a true definition of love (that is, wanting the best for someone and giving up one's own needs for the benevolence of the other), then men would keep their peckers where they belong and female college students would still take their 12-16 units per semester.

   One of the difficult things to distinguish, in the society and country we live in, is the difference between what is right by society, what is right by the law, and what is right by God.  And many times there is a difference.  In spite of society's perspective and vote, God does have a say in our lives.  "Your love, O Lord, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies.  Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains, your justice like the great deep."  The professor fell into the same trap that most everyone falls into: he chose to believe that right and wrong were determined by his feelings or by the confines of the law.  But God's love and His truth stretches beyond such confines.  And the rightness and good that He demands in our lives are born out of a love for us, as well as the truth that He is.

   I hope that things get straightened out for that man and young woman.  He's going to have a number of years in the clink to review where he went wrong, and my hope is that she re-establishes her friendships and listens to the counsel of those who may be a little wiser than herself.

   As for the rest of us...should you choose to listen and follow the God of the bible, His promise is that He would never leave you.  I've left you with the following verse as a good starting point.  I hope that you encounter God's peace as you deal with what love, and life, is truly all about.


Blessed are they whose transgressions are forgiven, who's sins are covered.
Blessed is the person whose sin the Lord does not count against them and in who's spirit is no deceit.
When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long.
For day and night your hand was heavy upon me;
my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer.

Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover my iniquity.
I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the Lord" - and you forgave the guilt of my sin.
Therefore let everyone who is godly pray to you while you may be found; surely when the mighty waters rise, they will not reach them.
You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.

Psalm 32:1-7

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